30 %

July 1 2008

As I sit here and drink my morning coffee I like to check my emails and browse my blogs that I have subscribed to.
One of those blogs is called Bipolar rants. I read this morning one of the posts and it really hit me hard.
The person wrote about watching a show on tv where it showed a graphic scene of a person committing suicide by hanging.
The blogger goes on to say “I know for sure thats not the way I want to do it if and when the time comes for me

I think I watched the same program because when I saw it, I rolled over in bed and asked the wife if it really would be that quick. She was not happy to say the least and maybe I shouldn’t have asked that question, but that is a daily reality that I live with. That my family is forced to live with.

Why am I writing this? Its not because I’m looking for pitty or attention, but because, like the other blogger, I am writing this in case there is someone reading this, living the same hell, to let him/her know you are not alone.

There is a shirt that I really want to get. It says
30& of my people commit suicide
We have Bipolar Disorder
but we don’t talk about it

I want to stay out of that 30% but the temptation is strong at times so to keep in that 70% of people I choose to talk about my disorder.

Its a harsh reality, one thats not really understood by most.
We are not failures, we are not cowards, we aren’t seeking attention and we aren’t looking for “the easy way out”
We are living with a real handicap. You just can’t see it. Its invisible. It’s inside.
If you are reading this and your feeling alone, just remember we are out here. Your not alone.
I recently discovered Our Bipolar.com
We would like to see you there. It maybe just what you need.

Sometimes we feel so trapped

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9 thoughts on “30 %

  1. Great expression in your writing.

    I love the elements in the photo! B&W photography just does something special for me anyway; but in relation to the 30% of us that do not speak of our traps, this piece speaks volumes.
    xx

  2. Well said Mitchell! We need to share our stories so others won’t feel alone and get the help they need.

    thank you for opening up for us.

    ((hugs))

  3. I love the way you presented the facts. I wasn’t aware that so many beepers commit suicide. It jsut gives you a harsh reminder of the reality that bipolars such as myself are faced with.

    Picture works perfecly.

  4. That photo is quite profound and I wish I had a nice fat framed copy of it for my wall as I can relate rather well to it.

    What a great t-shirt! I would definitely wear one too although I haven’t quite got to the openly expressing myself.

    Your words are very honest and just so true – sometimes the simplest of explanations make the most sense of all.

    Do you have any more pictures?

  5. Found the link for some more pics….. I need to open my eyes more.

    “We are not failures, we are not cowards, we aren’t seeking attention and we aren’t looking for “the easy way out”

    Why is then that the majority think it is “fake” “but you look normal” ? ….. even my own psychotherapists haven’t “understood” me!

    (have had to go and get tissues because it is so terribly sad, yet so painfully true and I need to wear a t-shirt with the whole of your comments on it!)

  6. That vine was an awesome find… great photo.

    Just to add to the bipolar fun:

    1. 50% of people with manic depression will attempt suicide at least once.
    2. Manic depression has a higher death rate than cancer
    3. Half of gun deaths in America are suicides
    4. In a 2007 the UCLA Laboratory of NeuroImaging compared “bipolar brains with Lithium” to “bipolar brains without Lithium” they found “the volume of grey matter in the brains of those on lithium was as much as 15 percent higher in areas that are critical for attention and controlling emotions.”

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