30 %

July 1 2008

As I sit here and drink my morning coffee I like to check my emails and browse my blogs that I have subscribed to.
One of those blogs is called Bipolar rants. I read this morning one of the posts and it really hit me hard.
The person wrote about watching a show on tv where it showed a graphic scene of a person committing suicide by hanging.
The blogger goes on to say “I know for sure thats not the way I want to do it if and when the time comes for me

I think I watched the same program because when I saw it, I rolled over in bed and asked the wife if it really would be that quick. She was not happy to say the least and maybe I shouldn’t have asked that question, but that is a daily reality that I live with. That my family is forced to live with.

Why am I writing this? Its not because I’m looking for pitty or attention, but because, like the other blogger, I am writing this in case there is someone reading this, living the same hell, to let him/her know you are not alone.

There is a shirt that I really want to get. It says
30& of my people commit suicide
We have Bipolar Disorder
but we don’t talk about it

I want to stay out of that 30% but the temptation is strong at times so to keep in that 70% of people I choose to talk about my disorder.

Its a harsh reality, one thats not really understood by most.
We are not failures, we are not cowards, we aren’t seeking attention and we aren’t looking for “the easy way out”
We are living with a real handicap. You just can’t see it. Its invisible. It’s inside.
If you are reading this and your feeling alone, just remember we are out here. Your not alone.
I recently discovered Our Bipolar.com
We would like to see you there. It maybe just what you need.

Sometimes we feel so trapped