Hello folks. I have revamped my website.

If you haven’t seen the new site then take a minute to check it out.  Any comments? I would be happy to hear them.

http://www.ihigallery.com

I won’t be posting for the next few weeks………Stay tuned.

A couple from a recent trip out East

Where to begin? I have been so lazy with this blog…..seriously, February was my last entry, really? Do I have any readers left? Well here are a few things that have been absorbing my time. I am still struggling with the challenges of  Bipolar Disorder…Medication…and a serious lack of drive ( or just being lazy as my daughter puts it…man, hearing that, kills me) For the most part things have been okay. I have my moments of Hell but mainly its the lack of motivation and drive thats hurting the most, both with my family and my art.

I have been out photographing only a handful of times and wonder if some of these meds are putting a real damper on my creative side. I have to thank a friend and fellow artist who got me out exploring Hamilton with my Holga. It stired something in me that I havent felt in a long time.

I have also been given the honor to be apart of a group of photographers in a foundation called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.  An organisation started by a mother and the photographer that captured the remaining moments of a little boys life.  I haven’t been called out to a session yet and I’m sure they won’t be easy but I really feel led to give back in this way.

There have been some other changes around here and a vacation out East but I will leave that until another time. I am going to TRY to update this blog every Sunday night…..Wish me luck!!

Wow it’s been awhile since my last post. Too long in fact. Sorry for that. Here is a recent Holga image. I am going to try to update this blog more frequently. Here is a new Holga image. Enjoy

It was my wifes 40th Birthday at the beginning of the month and I couldnt think of a better way to leap into her 40th year…She had a blast which of course Im happy about and man did it score me some brownie points…lol

I had a great time documenting the training of some new fire fighter recruits. Thirteen men and one woman spent two hot and humid days at a local training tower. Here are a few of my favs

I look forward to more work with this department

-30-

You can feel the unrest in the air. The winds pick up and the afternoon skys darken. As the thunder clouds roll in you begin to hear their furry. Lightning lights up the sky and the show begins.
The wind howls as it whips hail through the air, each piece touching down with the power of bullets.
The power of the storm increases, trees bend, visibility decreases, rain and hail beat down, lighting shatters the sky. A gasp is heard as a large limb from a neighboring tree snaps. Unable to withstand the pressure of the relentless storm it breaks away relieving the stress on the old tree.
Then as fast as it came the storm moved on leaving behind bits of branches, leaves and water filled ditches. The thunder hammering the skys in the distance.

While creating this image all I could think of was my moods. Right from the start I could see how this would parallel with how I felt. This has been reality for me over the past month. One internal storm after another. I was weened of my mood stabilizer due to the onset of a potentially dangerous skin rash. The psychiatrist didn’t want to take any chances so off I went. It has been a hellish month. Steady bouts of depression and anger as well as lack of any motivation has really taken its toll. I too am waiting for that limb to snap off. I need that relief.

I see the doctor today. I believe he is going to try me on Lithium. At this point all I want is normality, whatever that may look like. I’m ready for the storm to pass on, revealing a little sunshine in my world.
Here is to hoping.
-30-

TRENDY

Thanks to Elad the Great for sharing this awesome little video over at Our Bipolar.
It brought a smile to my face when I needed it. I hope you enjoy it to.
Click below and turn off the HD for best results
Where the Hell is Matt

July 1 2008

As I sit here and drink my morning coffee I like to check my emails and browse my blogs that I have subscribed to.
One of those blogs is called Bipolar rants. I read this morning one of the posts and it really hit me hard.
The person wrote about watching a show on tv where it showed a graphic scene of a person committing suicide by hanging.
The blogger goes on to say “I know for sure thats not the way I want to do it if and when the time comes for me“

I think I watched the same program because when I saw it, I rolled over in bed and asked the wife if it really would be that quick. She was not happy to say the least and maybe I shouldn’t have asked that question, but that is a daily reality that I live with. That my family is forced to live with.

Why am I writing this? Its not because I’m looking for pitty or attention, but because, like the other blogger, I am writing this in case there is someone reading this, living the same hell, to let him/her know you are not alone.

There is a shirt that I really want to get. It says
30& of my people commit suicide
We have Bipolar Disorder
but we don’t talk about it

I want to stay out of that 30% but the temptation is strong at times so to keep in that 70% of people I choose to talk about my disorder.

Its a harsh reality, one thats not really understood by most.
We are not failures, we are not cowards, we aren’t seeking attention and we aren’t looking for “the easy way out”
We are living with a real handicap. You just can’t see it. Its invisible. It’s inside.
If you are reading this and your feeling alone, just remember we are out here. Your not alone.
I recently discovered Our Bipolar.com
We would like to see you there. It maybe just what you need.